So what about 2012? Did I accomplish everything I dreamed of? Did I break barriers, scale walls, rise from ashes and spread my glorious burning wings across a clear blue sky?
Well, duh. Weren't you all here for that?
Actually, I did pretty well this year. This time last year I'd vowed to eat healthier. It all started with the Whole Living detox, which was pretty much a week of vegetables, followed by vegetables with fat, then vegetables with grain. Soon after, I started cooking only vegetarian meals at home, and began replacing meals with green smoothies. At some point, the vegetarian home thing turned into a vegan home thing. A few months back, Scott and I did a juice cleanse, prompting him to join the mostly-vegan bandwagon I was on. It all happened sort of gradually, but with the exception of the holiday-season we've kept up the mostly vegan, everyday juicing pattern pretty well.
Next week we are doing another juice cleanse followed by a liver cleanse. Shit's getting crazy over here, but I'm looking forward to getting my supposedly congested fatty liver reset. I know, I'm speaking hippy-greek. Sorry. The point is that over the past year of healthy eating I have never felt better. Besides that time I drank river water I wasn't sick all year. Of course, I was slammed with a head cold in the last month of December, crushing my chances for reporting a cold-free year. Curse you, cruel fate.
Then, we bought a house, which is pretty cool, but also feels really stupid and frightening sometimes. You know what I mean, right? It's all gravy - totally awesome, but at the same time you can't help but feel like the adult who lives here is going to come home sooner or later and kick you out. Just yesterday I drilled a hole through a cabinet and grimced over having to hide it from the landlord. Hiding it from the hus-beast was way harder.
Then there is Chef Hangout. Though I have to admit, it hasn't become the new career that I hoped it would, it has opened a lot of doors for me, and helped me realize how very much I enjoy teaching. I'll be keeping it up in the coming year, but I'm also going to be making a big effort to find other places to teach as well, both online and locally. If anyone hears about a teaching opportunity, I'd be gratfeul if you kept me in mind.
Scott and I welcomed our latest nephew to the party in 2012. Little Michael is Scott's sister, Karen's third baby, giving us a grand total of six nieces and nephews and three god-children. My sister, Sarah, is making our nine-count an even ten later this year. She's preggo! Sarah's baby will be the first grandkid on my side, so we are all extremely excited. I was tempted to list having a baby in my goals for 2013, but if 2012 has taught me anything, it's that some things don't come according to your schedule. The best things in life arrive whenever they damn-well feel like it.
The Leonard grand-kids, tall and small.
Of course, 2012 had some really, really sad bits too. The last month was particularly difficult. My stomach still drops whenever my mind wanders that direction. Tears still come whenever I'm prompted to talk about any of it. My heart aches, my hands cramp up, and my breath gets trapped in my chest. Nothing can ever make it right, and part of me is really, really scared of what 2013 could bring. Sometimes I feel like the world just keeps getting scarier.
Then I wonder if the world was always so cruel, and it's just me getting older? Either way, part of me was happy to stay home with a cold last night, safe and warm under a blanket. We toasted the new year with kombucha, then went outside to watch my neighborhood explode into an amateur fireworks show. We were in bed soon after, and for some reason or another I didn't wake up for twelve more hours.
So, I missed half of my first day this year. How's that for an omen? Then Gracie got a mud-foot. Luckily, I caught her in the mud-room before she escaped to fling mud all over the house. As I was cleaning her up I snapped my first shot for this year's 365 project, #Underfoot. Once I put some clothes on I'll be heading to the Container Store again to try and finish up my first goal of the year. My pantry ought to be shaking in its boots.